In ancient myths the Realm of the Hungry ghost is a spirit seeking something outside themselves to curb an urge as a form of relief, through the use of pursuits or substances to help sooth an emptiness that exists in the soul.
According to the mythology, hungry ghosts, like the human, seek solace and nourishment, but they are trapped in a frustrating umwelt in which their emptiness will never be fulfilled.
What Gabor Mate calls the aching emptiness is often in perpetual cycles, in that often the spirit does not know what they need so they stay in this hungry ghost mode, constantly in pursuit to fill an emptiness haunting them without ever being present.
In studying addiction, in his book the Realm of the hungry Ghosts, Dr Gabor has managed to better understand those that spend all their time as hungry ghosts often attempting to escape the Hell realm of fear, rage and despair.
This article summarises his findings in better understanding societies many addictions and shed some light on those ill fated struggles for many to overcome suffering of addiction. If society can better understand their ghosts and shadows, instead of ostracise them and prove that no human is beyond redemption and ultimately finding peace for all is the resolution.
Having myself for years struggled with forms of addiction I have been through a journey of healing myself. This blog is to highlight how addiction controls some and what options of recovery exist.
Addiction can come in many forms from alcohol, drug, food , sex or any form of need to fulfil an urge. Having read Gabor Mate’s book ‘The realm of Hungry Ghosts’ he looks at the chemistry of the addictive brain. Gabor looks at addiction which always originates from pain , maybe felt openly or hidden unconsciously. He states that these forms of addiction such as use of heroin often is a powerful painkiller to ease psychological discomforts from past experiences.
Primo Levi an Auschwitz survivor states even now people are often moved by mass starvation or genocide in the world but fail to empathise with an addict. Levi explains:
“We readily feel for a suffering child, but cannot see the child in the adult who, his soul fragmented and isolated, hustles for survival a few blocks away from where we shop or work”
The problem with today’s societies is humanity cannot sit still in the present, there is always something people are striving to fulfil, almost to fill an emptiness. However the drug addict often has limited means of escaping the void from that ever existing painful awareness.
I guess non addicts will find other ways to escape often the path of enlightenment for some or other forms of consumption.
Society is heading more towards depression from this ever feeling of void or emptiness. When we complain about boredom we often resort to focusing on troubled issues or anxieties. The hardest thing for an addict however is spending time alone with ones thoughts so escaping via drugs, alcohol often provide a solution to feel alive again only temporarily.
For me addiction in substances was fuelled by me feeling inadequate without these substances. For most of my life, through addiction, all my inhibitions were lifted allowing social interactions and abilities became enhanced. Without the use of these substances my life felt intolerable, empty and maybe being alone with my tedious thoughts left me craving to escape constant anxiety.
What you must learn however is not to restrict your view of the limited version of our self when an addict is not under control of a substance there is a way out to freedom. Dr Gabor states its not drugs that make anyone addicted as with food does not make anyone a compulsive eater. There has to be a pre-existing vulnerability. This could be from a form of significant stress or experiences.
What is Addiction?
“Any repeated behaviour, substance related or not, in which a person feels compelled to persist, regardless of its negative impact on his life and the lives of others”
Gabor states that all addicts engage in what they call brain’s attachment-reward and incentive motivation system - which causes a more impulse based response to thinking rationally. Also addicts tend to share a mindset of cravings, shame , manipulation and relapse. Ultimately addiction takes over a persons place to be present and whether its abuse, neglect, exploitation all causing one to try and escape.
Addiction can express itself in many ways with the use of substances like heroine, cocaine, nicotine or alcohol are just a few examples but of course there are addictions for non substances such as social relationships. Addiction involves repeated behaviour which Gabor highlights addiction to include compulsive engagement ,Impaired control ,persistence or relapse, dissatisfaction are a few hallmarks.
Addiction is not only restricted to substance abuse and often common for instance in the startup world - its adrenalized culture almost becomes like gambling. As a result entrepreneurs are three times more likely to struggle with a form of addiction – often due to pre-existing mental health issues. These traits almost mean one would be gambling on a startup venture , also sometimes encouraging workaholism. In a startup once the job does not provide the same dopamine hit they then many seek other substances to blot out the stress or help them project that confidence needed.
Anxiety disorders are also a source of substance abuse and addiction. Financial difficulties, health troubles, legal problems and relationship conflicts associated with substance abuse can cause a person’s anxiety to worsen. Since the symptoms of anxiety may resemble the side effects of alcoholism or drug addiction, distinguishing between the effects of anxiety or addiction can be difficult. For anxiety related disorders the recovery village group can help support you and provide medical advice or next steps.
Compulsive shopping is also a form of addiction and when engaged in this buying activity -the thinking part of the brain goes to sleep. The working memory or reasoning and brain activity of pleasure goes on overdrive during a shopping spree, different to when a brain is acting rationally.
When we attempt to stop a form of addiction the extreme emotions of withdrawal causes diminished dopamine and endorphin levels causing depression or glum mood and aimlessness.
The recovery or self regulation is difficult when the body is constantly craving for external comfort sources. Nobody is born to self regulate – an in fact as already discussed is completely dependent on a carer to achieve this. If it has not been sufficiently provided a person can often struggle to get to a state of liberation.
Dr Kerr psychiatrist at Washington DC discusses differentiation which looks at a person’s ability to function on external sources. Those that are less developed will rely on relationships to maintain emotional balance – if a relationship was to fail they would turn to addiction. These underdeveloped self regulation , deficient emptiness and reliance on a partner often is child like whereby the addicts personality has not matured as yet.
Without this process of differentiation often a persons ability to self regulate is not possible, lack of healthy sense of self, sense of emptiness and low self control mechanisms. The main question Gabor asks is then how can healing begin and emotional growth form.
Ultimately addiction can not replace life needs its only for temporary moments of relief. What Gabor does highlight parental stress on children can also be a source of addiction reasoning but not always. People without childhood issues or stress also develop drug abuse issues.
“One of the main tasks of the mind is to fight or remove emotional pain which is one of the reasons for its incessant activity , but all it can ever achieve is to cover up temporarily. In fact the harder the mind struggles to get rid of the pain, the greater the pain” -Eckart Tolle
Eckart is highlighting we are always absorbed by exposing to tv , music,media and external chatter instead of focusing on the internal voice and facing our demons. We avoid seeing ourselves and taking responsibility.
Tragic stories of addiction in migrants, native Americans or aboriginal minority have shown low tolerance to drug and alcohol use. Often addiction in this case is due to bad integration of these cultures causing powerlessness of natives in their land and being more vulnerable to addictions. Industrial societies have risen caused destruction of community and connectiveness of people causing social isolation, loneliness and depression also risk of addiction.
Research has shown brain activity of a drug addict contains missing white age related matter – as we age we develop more active connections and more white matter. For a cocaine addict this matter is reduced and there is loss of learning capacity to make choices and rational decisions. Cocaine addicts and drug users tend to use drugs to increase levels of dopamine. Drug users have lower levels of dopamine receptors – the fewer there are the more the brain welcomes stimulants.
For those with reduced number of dopamine receptors is what tends to cause craving as an incentive for normal brain activity. It becomes a vicious cycle whereby more cocaine use reduces those receptors and therefore fewer receptors cause more addiction to cravings of artificial chemicals due to the lack.
This is how tolerance works for drug users. Addicts will inject, inhale or smoke more and more doses in the hope of getting the same effect as before. Once they stop the use of the drug they get withdrawal symptoms, because of reduction of these receptors which can no longer generate balanced dopamine activity. This withdrawal can turn into irritable, mood swings and fatigue.
Once in recovery and less drug use the bodies receptors can naturally rise without needing a substance, but it takes a while before they reach normal levels when cravings stop.
Addiction at a Cellular level
Addiction has also been reviewed at a neurotransmitter level in Gabor's book. Alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, cocaine, meth have the ability to temporary enhance brains dopamine levels.
Dopamine works in the synaptic space the branches of nerves where messages are chemically transmitted from one cell to another. The brain needs these chemical messages and its dopamine that floats across the space. Once the dopamine carries its message to the nerve cells it then falls into the synaptic cell waiting to be reused- the greater the dopamine reuse the less the neurotransmitter is active. – Cocaine or antidepressant reduce re-use of dopamine.
Alcohol reduces the inhibition of dopamine release. Sexual contact also promotes presence of dopamine in symbiotic space. Food cravings due to increase dopamine requirements also can have similar effects just at different levels. Sexual contact increases dopamine levels in brain by 100% as alcohol and nicotine, but cocaine triples this. Basically these are all temporarily changes of the brains internal environment forming chemical shifts.
Perhaps the worse consequence of drug abuse or addiction is cravings causing vulnerabilities which include relapse. Addiction is considered a chronic disease although this only explains the biological disease not causes it helps understand the bodies reaction.
Can childhood explain addiction?
"Asking the fundamental question What happened to you? Can help each of us know a little more about how experiences both good and bad -shape us."
I guess we shouldn’t underestimate how early childhood from feeling of rejection by everyone starting with parents can also be a cause of addiction. My research also looked at exploring childhood experiences and how these are processed can impact addiction.
When researching into the causes of addiction Dr Gabor only provides evidence that some cases of addiction are a result or childhood trauma this is not always the case.
A child can feel emotionally distressed when parents are not emotionally present and often only physically there a theme he calls proximal separation.
A parents loving attention eases a child’s discomfort by providing endorphins – if this affection or nurturing is not provided endorphins are not released and a child is often left to form their own coping mechanism such as suck thumbs, self-soothing or escape in distress.
Children who lacked nurturing from a parent are more likely to seek chemical satisfaction as adults from external sources.
Its not just children its mothers, lovers, bungee jumpers , spiritual seekers are all reaching endorphin high.
‘Abnormal or improvised rearing environment can decrease thousands of synopsis per axon forming abnormal interconnections over the course of development.’
Basically dysfunctional parenting from perhaps depressed or inattentive mothers who are despondent to a child’s needs can also cause people to differ emotionally and have social behaviour issues or self control issues. Its fair to say children raised under adversity can harm development -their brain never had the chance to develop and thus they are more likely predisposed to addiction – this is the case for a lot of substance or addicts.
Infants that are born into this world are fully present pure and only begin to shut down parts of themselves where they are unable to recognise love and form a hole like an emptiness. People grow into life thinking they are deficient and addicts form coping mechanisms in life to cover up the emptiness.
Impact of Trauma from childhood
Happy and emotionally stable relationships of the child and caregiver can stimulate release of opioids in an infants brain. Alternatively, stress and trauma from childhood can reduce opiate and dopamine receptors driving the incentive to find it elsewhere.
Studies have confirmed that these important parent - child relationships and nurturing, reduce neurotransmitters in the brain and often studies on rats from permanent displacement from a parent can cause permanent disruption of dopamine motivation in brain, which we know plays role in addiction. Therefore, the presence of consistent parental care and contact and love is required for normal development of this brains transmitters.
Another effect of key chemical development is Oxytocin also known as a love chemical which is decreased with early maternal deprivation. Oxytocin is important in forming attachments or commitment. People who often have difficulty forming intimate relationships are also risk of addiction have reduced levels of Oxytocin.
Children who have suffered disruptions in maternal relationships will not have the same biochemical milieu as a well nurtured peer. This means in adulthood their experiences and interpretations of environment are less adaptive and they often respond differently. All again reasoning to risk of addiction as a conduit to enhancing what’s missing. Studies for addicts have shown high correlation to childhood trauma or abuse.
40% of sex addicts have been abused as children and as adults they tend to look to sex and associate being wanted and love to reaffirm this – therefore if a person feels wanted only sexually as an adult they will look at sex to reaffirm this love. Its not the addiction of sex but the dopamine and endorphins flow making it desirable.
Studies have also looked at alcoholics who had suffered sexual abuse were three times likely to become alcoholics early on in life. This addiction to alcohol is lets say a self regulation mechanism where there is a way to deal with painful experience.
The brains opiate receptors are a natural form of reward or smoothness. For alcoholics, opiate receptors are diminished and will associate to cravings more. Less endorphin activity means a greater desire from craving.
It seems these forms of opioids providing pleasure , pain relief or love are entry points for narcotics in out brain. The less effective our own internal chemical happiness systems is the more humans are motivated to find joy and relief through other sources like addictive products.
Genetics can be a determinant of addiction but in Gabor's book he emphasis that the human genome is so large that its not just nature but nurture that can impact a person more likely to be a drug taker or addict. Gabor mentions that genes are controlled but the environment and this is how predominantly the cells are moulded once in their environment.
Brain development in childhood and uterus also is a factor which could define if a person is predisposed to addictions or drug use.
Stress during pregnancy has shown to impact the development of the child. Women with elevated cortisol levels during pregnancy reaching the baby often impacting brain development often resulting in developing to addictive behaviour in adults. Studies during 9/11 world trade centre attacks had shown Post traumatic stress on pregnant women impacted the new-borns whereby just at one year the infants had abnormal levels of stress hormone cortisol levels.
"The long term impact of being whupped - then forced to hush and even smile about it - turned me into a world class people pleaser for most of my life" Oprah
In Bruce Perry's recent study on attachment theory he looks as early as trauma developed in a foetus, infant or child and how this impacts brain development. His new book with Oprah 'What happened to you' looks at childhood experiences and what can be done for those that need to heal and learn how to process those experiences or individual patterns of exposer to trauma - there is not one size fit all solution.
What happened to you as a child can shape the way you view the world and your world view determines your personal view of yourself too - so you grow up either with a sense of worthiness or not based on what your surrounding. Trauma, as Bruce Perry states, impacts brain development and decisions which are shaped at infancy as early as 2 months, which are the most critical time in life impacting brain development. If trauma or stress happens at 2 months - stress responses can change your genetics at this age and your brain is primed at seeing things as a threat going forward in life.
Listen to Bruce and Oprah (Super Soul - Dr. Bruce Perry (google.com))
Learn more from library of resources (www.childtrauma.org)
Healing with Mindfulness and Mediation
Change must begin with you wanting to transform. This may include avoiding environments that are cues to trigger addiction are also important, since your removing something toxic and eliminating stress that triggers is. Stress on the other hand cannot justify addiction its just misguided way to relive stress there are other ways you can act on this.
Mediation of course is not the only solution it’s a start to really be free its important to seek help. Mindfulness and mediation is a key to unlocking the addicted brain and mind and reducing stress.
In Buddhism they state
“With our minds we create our world”
Compassion and knowing yourself is also a way to begin the journey of healing.
Really with mindfulness and meditation we are trying to wake up from a trance of unworthiness what we are hating is our best effort of loving our self. We need to see that what seems most destructive is an effort to cope. We have a lot of self distrust maybe fear or anxious about what others think and often feeling like we are making mistakes. Chronic monitoring can be exhausting so mediation is if I paused part of me is saying how am I doing.
When fear or doubt comes up it’s a cloud that obscures the sun we cant see who we are. Pause reflect let your attention inwards – scan how you relate to yourself – see if you are judging yourself. Trust your basic goodness- basic truths we forget – our heart closed against yourself your closed heart wont love life. You are trying to live fully but its false refuge its misguided love but you need to make love of yourself perfectly.
For those of you that struggle try a mediation retreat begin with short bursts but it is a to old to begin with.You don’t have to be good at it but it is an invaluable tool to improvements of addictive behaviours.
Changing and trying to free yourself is scary and you may fall sometimes but try and imagine you living your life with integrity and awareness and a life you deserve.
Heal with daily self love
Self compassion is the Idea of offering love to our self if we feel deserving of it. Start with saying I love you (your name) – put your hand on your heart and say good morning even. Just practice and do it regularly since your neuropathways actually wake up when you habitually run same experience what you practice grows stronger- send message you’re here and learning and say you care about the suffering . If your attention is to bring love that intention is coming from love will open a door.
Let in love start with what’s easy.
-Think about someone who loves you unconditionally alive or not
-Let that love of them into your heart be aware of what you feel
-If you struggle say a prayer to allow their love to pour into you
Acknowledge your critical judgements
If there is trauma we spend more time directly nurturing we need to create warmth and space from heart practice once we are ready open to vulnerability. Go back to resourcing and ground yourself. Start by maybe when a judgmental or negative critical thought appears say to yourself I'm hurting myself with my own judgements – just say this hurts and that alone leads to nurturing.
For family and friends of addicts
Being family and friends of an addict is not easy there is often only one decision to make either choose to be with them or not, and even if its family unconditional acceptance doesn’t mean staying with them. Often being with an addict means we reacting out of love to stay by them but what we are also doing is adding a level of shame to their lives and in a way we are addicted to attributes to martyrdom to help them.
If you love your friend or family member instead of making demands of them first start with compassionate self inquiry. You don’t want to perceive yourself as someone’s salvage project but see how your doing and how can you help truthfully.
Also when in a relationship with an addict or family don’t take it personally. It may be a challenge but remember the addict does not engage in bad habits out of need to betray or hurt anyone but really just to escape their own suffering.
Unfortunately the childish behaviour and immature emotional actions of an addicts means people around them naturally become the stern parent.
"Addicts have a way to recruit new guardians and looking for support as a way to shift responsibility onto others."
A person going through addiction is often overwhelmed by their demons more than we can understand and its important we help and they try and free themselves of this fight.
Please be patient but also learn to understand how to work with addicts through the support groups and books available to show you are not alone to dealing with this.
Healing with the 4 step Process
Dr Gabor's approach in the 4 steps for addiction includes daily journaling -The four step process is recommended as a healing process - Keeping a journal helps and you can write out the four steps daily
Step 1
Start with giving your addiction a label. I often say ‘ I don’t need to have a cigarette now or chocolate now ‘
‘Im only having an obsessive thought – its not real and nothing urgent happening’
This moment is conscious awareness and to be fully present and aware. Your trying to make that addictive feeling go away. Remember every time you give in you are weakening. It is a dysfunctional need or urge be aware of that and ask it to go away.
Step 2
Reattribute you will be blaming your brain – since its your brain that is sending you signals from dopamine and cravings. Don’t blame yourself for being an addict but ask why your brain is craving it this is not your failure. Be present and aware of the feeling it becomes easier to let go.
Step 3 Re-focus
Give yourself that time to allow the urge to pass.Its about trying to fight the urge and find something else to do. Go for a walk engage in something healthy or more so physical activity is one of the best ways to refocus. This step involves teaching the brain it doesn’t have to obey any addictive a calls you exercise “FREE WONT”. Maybe record how long you can rest for even 5min and extend each time
This step is trying to stop you in engaging in the addictive activity and find something else to do. Choose something else you enjoy healthy or creative -something that wont cause you more harm. Instead of just giving up to that urge or siren - start with going for walk delay it for 10min.
The purpose of refocus step is to teach your brain it can choose something else and be aware of what your doing even if you delay it for 5 min maybe 15min then 30min till you don’t engage in the addictive action. No matter how short the time your just holding out and teaching your brain something new you don’t have to give in immediately.
Step 4 Re-Value
Revalue -this step mostly is about understanding and remembering how much damage your addiction has done. Look over what your urges have done – spend too much money, break relationships or waisted time. Write done this step and write down what happened when you let this urge rule you – pay attention to what you feel as you think about this. You are not judging you are trying to understand and revalue to shift your behaviour.
Ask yourself maybe what has this addictive urge done for me?
Have you regretted things, spent too much money, cheep, hurt others around you.
Write down what this addictive urge has done to you last week or whenever you gave in and pay attention to what you feel maybe guilt or did it overpower you and you felt weak
Step 5 Recreate
Life maybe till now has been creating you and now its time to create your life. Mindfully think about what you want to create or manifest. Write down a list of your values and intentions – even if you stumble that’s ok but your creating a new life and - Dr Schwartz highlights Anticipate – every time you do not resist to an urge you win.
Recovery Programmes
To help move towards conscious awareness in recovery, what ever your addiction is this 12 step process is also a good way to help heal and stop any compulsions you feel powerless about.
12 step programme (The 12 Steps of AA | Alcoholics Anonymous - Great Britain (alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk))
Another thing is commitment to change is not a limitation but a source of joy and freedom and its not about making promises to change for someone else.
Once the students eyes are open the teachers can be found everywhere. Our very painful emotions or trauma can point to great possibilities. Once the healing occurs inside us then we find ourselves.
Other online Recovery Programmes:
While these digital communities might not replace detox they are a way for you to start being accountable and when isolated have someone to reach out to as a start.
TEMPEST – private online community which included guided programmes , workshops and virtual support groups. It may seem like the $149 membership is steep but its worth the struggle and money
MONUMENT – An Anonymous online consulting service offering individual therapy sessions with a range of affordable payment plans for recovery
DYNAMICARE -This program offers financial rewards for healthy behaviour offering positive reinforced changes. The programme included one to one couching and support meetings daily.
www.drgabormate.com
www.therecoveryvillage.com
I pray you may you find the strength to overcome any problems , remove doubts and fears and fill your heart with love and strength to live the life planned for you.
Amen xxx
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